Fruit flies, nature’s interdimensional travelers. They are the insect equivalent of the call that’s coming from inside the house. There’s at least one floating it’s smug ass around my house right now because I made the grave mistake of trying to avoid getting scurvy. What I’m trying to say is that we need to capture them and get them to give up their technological secrets before they take their cyanide pills. The rumor that they have severely short lifespans is just that, a rumor. One that these insufferable little bastards propagate in order to keep us from asking them the important questions. The conspiracy goes all the way to the top!…of the garbage can.

Have a fly-free weekend, you rosy-cheeked lollipop lords!!