There are some questions that just have to be asked.

I’ve never been particularly religious. I’m more of a believe what you want, as long as you don’t hurt anyone, kind of guy, but I do find it funny that a great deal of people think that if Jesus returns it’s gonna be right here in the good ol’ U.S. of A. I just hope that, if he does, the first people he meets are the biggest idiots possible.

I would also like to request that I be immediately teleported there, popcorn in hand, to watch the festivities.