Have you ever found a weirdly damaged coin or strange object on the ground and wondered how it got there? What twisted tale does the trash around us have to tell?

We’ll never know, unless we hoard! Take all the trash you can and store it openly in your house. Step 2: Yell questions loudly at the trash. Column B: List trash as a tax deduction.

Look, now this news post is topical!

See you Friday, you candy-apple curmudgeons!