The weather has been unseasonably warm around here lately and that means it’s only a matter of time until the bloodsuckers start coming out of the woodwork. I’m no fan of ticks, they carry diseases and itch like the damn devil. I remember a time when I was a kid, my brothers, some neighborhood friends, and I were out in a small group of trees behind our house and in the middle of a conversation which was either about Nirvana, Ninjas, or how much pornography we’d seen, when I looked down and realized that there were what seemed like hundreds of ticks crawling out of the trees and enveloping us. We freaked-the-hell out!

I’ll tell you this though, I’ll take those hundreds of ticks any day of the week over fleas or bedbugs. I’ve never had a run in with bedbugs (knock on wood) but I once had an apartment that got infested with fleas from a friend’s cat. You haven’t lived until you’ve submerged yourself in a bathtub just to escape being bitten for two seconds. I wished I hadn’t “lived”.

BREAK OUT THE CORTIZONE